Exclusively By Izzah Johan

Last Saturday 21-24 Dec 2008 me n my family went to Lumut & Pangkor....
having Family Gathering Vacation...
here some of the picture during the vacation.
it was so fun... really2 fun.... muahahahahah.......
it cant being discribe by words.....
this is the happiness with lovely family.....

i love sunset....


Daddy....bored face.. hahahahha...


Mummy... shopping!!!!


Family dinner "Mkn Besar"

Some of my cuzens.....

Water park at Lumut

Before sunset at Jeti Sungai Dinding


Marina Cove Lumut


My room at Marina Cove


Ready to swim..... yay!!!
Here the video while having dinner with my family at one ikan bakar restaurant....

Ya Allah…
Seandainya telah engkau catatkan… Dia milikku tercipta buatku…
Satukanlah hatinya dengan hatiku…
Titipkanlah kebahagian antara kami….agar kemesraan itu abadi…
Dan ya Allah… ya tuhanku yang maha mengasihi…
Seiringkanlah kami melayari hidup ini… Ketepian yang sejahtera dan abadi…

Tetapi ya Allah…
Seandainya telah engkau takdirkan… dia bukan miliku…
Bawalah ia jauh dari pandanganku… Luputkanlah ia dari ingatanku…
Dan peliharalah aku dari kekecewaan….
Serta ya Allah ya tuhanku yang maha mengerti…
Berikanlah aku kekuatan… Melontar bayangannya jauh ke dada langit…
Hilang bersama senja nan merah… agar aku bahagia…
Walaupun tanpa bersama dengannya…
Dan ya Allah yang tercinta…
Gantillah yang telah hilang… Tumbuhkanlah kembali yang telah patah…
Walaupun tidak sama dengan dirinya…
Ya Allah ya tuhanku…
Pasrahkanlah aku dengan takdirmu…
Sesungguhnya apa yang telah engkau takdirkan…
Adalah yang terbaik buat ku… kerana Engkau maha mengetahui…
Segala yang terbaik buat hamba Mu ini…
Ya Allah…
Cukuplah engkau sahaja yang menjadi pemeliharaku…
Di dunia dan di akhirat… Dengarlah rintihan dari hamba Mu yang daif ini…
Jangan engkau biarkan aku sendirian…
Di dunia ini mahupun di akhirat…
Menjuruskan aku kearah kemaksiatan dan kemungkaran…
Maka kurniakanlah aku seorang pasangan yang beriman…
Supaya aku dan dia sama-sama dapat membina kesejahteraan hidup…
Ke jalan yang Engkau redhai… dan kurniakanlah padaku keturunan yang soleh….
Amin.. Ya Rabbal A’lamin.

To my lovely friend... Rahshafeez a.k.a Chedoh....
i wanna say takziah for ur lovely sweetheart Sha....
I'm sorry to hear bout her going back to Allah this morning....
even i am not knowing her very well... but I'm still sad and can feel the lost of her....
i hope u will strong to face all this thing....
don't be worry... we all ur friends will always with u....
i always with u when u need me...
I'm sorry for late respond and not answering ur call this morning...
take care... hope she will rest in peace and Allah will Always bless her....
Al-fatihah....

Bagai baru semalam segalanya bermula
salam perkenalan yang dihulurkan membuka satu lembaran baru
hidupku yang dahulunya sepi dan kusam…
kini berseri dan bercahaya dengan kehadiranmu
ibarat sejalur cahaya menerangi ruang yang dahulunya kosong

Perhubungan yang pada mulanya satu kebetulan
bertukar manjadi suatu ikatan naluri kasih antara dua insan
Kau dan aku bersama melayari hidup berkongsi kasih.
Dunia menjadi saksi kemesraan hubungan ini
tidak pernah kurasakan kenikmatan cinta sehebat ini
jutaan kasih sayang kau curahkan tidak ternilai harganya…..
Kita pernah bersumpah untuk bersama dan menayayangi
sehingga ke penghujung hembusan nafas yang terakhir…

Kini baru ku mengerti erti cinta yang sebenar
mengenal makna rindu ,kaseh dan sayang…
ketahuilah…..kaseh dan sayangku hanyalah untukmu..
di segenap ruangan hati ini telah ku ukir indah nama mu…
kita merupakan insan yang paling bahagia tatkal berdua
bertuah diri ini kerna memiliki kaseh seorang insan
yang istimewa seperti mu…

Tapi sayangnya….
disaat kita sedang asyik menyulam cinta dialam bahagia
kau…pergi meninggalkan diri ini…
kau pergi disaat aku masih mengharapkan kasih sayangmu…
tinggal kini aku keseorangan…
tiada lagiku dengar senda gurau dan tawamu
tiada lagi dakapan yang penuh dengan kasih sayang buatku
tidak dapat lagi aku menatap wajahmu
kau tinggalkanku sendiri menempuh hidup dibumi Allah ini
mengapa begitu singkat sekali takdir cinta kita…
pemergianmu itu turut membawa pergi sinar hidup ini meningalkanku…..

Aku tidak pernah menyalahkan takdir diatas perpisahan ini
aku tahu kau jugak tidak mahu kan
perpisahan ini terjadi
mungkin semua ini sudah bersurat sejak azali lagi…
yang kau dan aku bukan ditakdirkan untuk bersama dan bersatu buat selama - lamanya
di dunia ini….

Terima kasih sayang…….
diatas curahan kasih dan sayangmu padaku selama ini…
walaupun hanya seketika namun aku tetap bahagia ketika berada di samping mu….
dan terima kasih kerana menunaikan janji mu untuk menyangi diri ini sehingga hembusan nafasmu yang terakhir

Segala memori antara kau dan aku akanku simpan dan ku kenang sehingga akhir hayat….
tidak akan aku lupakan cinta kita ini buat selamanya..
Biar jasad mu kini di kambus bumi
biar hanya nisan putih sebagai tanda
namu aku masih menyayangi mu buat selamanya

Seperti baru semalam bermesra bersama
merasakan kehangatan dakapan…
ungkapan cinta yang masih terngiang-ngiang disanubari…
masih terasa helahan nafasmu dibalik helaian rambutku…
wajahmu bermain diminda dan terbawa didalam lenaku….
suara mu masih terdengar seakan- akan memanggilku….
seperti dulu yang menyentuh sanubariku

Tak mungkin ada pengganti buat mu sayang
Kini puasara sepi menjadi tempat meluahkan rindu
yang semakin hari semakin mendalam dijiwa ini
Aku reda dengan permergian mu
walaupun perit untuk diterima…..

Kini apa yang ku harapkan kau akan berbahagia di sana
dan semoga kau ditempatkan bersama orang - orang yang beriman….Insya Allah
Setiap pertemuan itu pasti ada perpisahan…
Yang hidup pasti akan mati….
Yang hilang itu pasti akan berganti…
Hanya Allah yang tahu segalanya…
Mungkin ada Hikmah di sebalik pertemuan dan perpisahan ini yang kita sendiri tidak tau..….

_jejah johan_


i wrote this in 2005...
idont know why... where the idea came from...
but this what i want to say....

Here some of the picture of friends of mine in UiTM Kampus Bandaraya Melaka..... Most of they are BBIB 3B members... we study, having fun n joy together... i really miss u guys... can't wait to come back to Malacca and start new semester with u guys....

Hope the next sem will be more fun then the last sem....
thanks guys for being with me for the whole sem...
All this photos are some of the thing that we have being trough together...
Love all of u...

-Akmar, Zaty, Eddie, Megat--Dataran Pahlawan hang out-
-with En Maz Izwan... (even I'm not in the pic)-


-Norita n Me... she my future housemate-


-the other two best friend.... Zaty n Megat-

-the team that with me for football match at 'mamak'-

-The 'Adoi ai' team-


- Eddie, Zaty, Megat-


Next sem will be more, more, more and more pic... I promise!!!


Through the month of august this year 2008 give me lots of lesson of life
many things happen n change my life a lot....
many tears... sadness... lonely... but all this thing make a new me.....
make me more matured and teach me to be a human...
i never think all happen this month as something bad to me
yap even its like disaster and make me fall n crash badly....
but i need to wake up....yap need to wake up....

now I'm alone... he decide to let me go....ok.. don't want to comment more bout it
enough... what ever past is past... but one thing doesn't change...
my love to him will remain the same not even 1% change... i will loving him till the end of my life.... till Allah change it... there still u in my heart for now.
I STILL LOVE U

second thing.... my grandpa past away 20th aug 2008....
very sad moment... even i know he will go to meet Allah but not this soon...
that's takdir... i must accept it.. it good for him... all of our family do not want to see him suffer better Allah take him.... because we love him so much... allhamdulillah Allah love him more...
what we can do just pray for his happiness up there with Allah....
may b sooner or later is our time to see Allah. there is the time but don't know when....
yap...I'm really2 sad... I'm just feel the emptiness and alone....
i don't have someone to share this feeling...may b before this when my grandma past away (5th Feb 2008) his with me n make calm... and always support me... but now I'm alone... may b that what i feel losing something n my soul.

erm... with all this thing i just doesn't feel that august is actually to the end and september will come with 'Ramadhan al mubarak' alhamdulillah... hope the ramadhan make me feel more better.... n i want to celebrate my ramadhan... i want to be near back to Allah...
may b after all this thing happen is to remind me to come back to HIM.... after too far forgetting him.... It just because Allah still love me.... even there no more love of human (guy) but i still have others love.... lots of love... so i should not stop giving love to every one family friends.... do something good there's rewards that Allah will give soon... Even not in this world may b soon at 'akhirat' we don't know.....

i realize that im not that good or perfect person....
i always make mistake....even to every one...
forgive me for all i have done.... give me time to correct my mistake....
guide me for not doing the mistake again... give me a chance....
I'm just an ordinary gurl....
Alhamdulillah starting a new day again today.
hope that today will be better and better then the other days before.Insya Allah...
just being here to say that im now quite being addicted to write down all thing in mind here. even sometime i dont have time for it coz a bit problem to have Internet at this new palace. just hope for the wifi at KBM. but now my house have the connection so. that the good thing happen in life because seriously I'm feel lonely ait now... even have friends around bout i don't know why i feel so empty... i don't know why... i thing that i need to motivate my self back in order to face the other day... but one of my friend say, sometime it fine to be alone and do all thing by your own. without partner. you can do what ever you want. what ever you wish for without need to think about other or what they will say either they agree or disagree with us.

When i say about lonely may be people thought that I'm may b lonely because of love life and love relationship. it not what i mean actually. may be I'm missing my family, my house, my room. all the comfort zone that i should left being when i came here. sound so 'ngada-ngada'
hahahaha.... but its true. have many thing in my mind rite now. but i don't know which part to start. may be love life also one of the factor. I'm missing him but it fine to have long distance relationship. we still in Malaysia not overseas. i should be more focus on study. being passion and think positively. Problems come and go in human life. it normal to have problems. but we must know how to solved the problems correctly. because some people just take the shot way or try to run away from the problems. its not the end of life having problems. even its very critical. there must be a way to settle it down. I'm telling this for my self. for not give up. try to wake if you are down. don't easily give up. even there no one with you or there no help from others. Its fine coz i should believe to my self that i can do it. be strong and Allah (God) is always with us. HE also will never let us to be alone if we always remembering HIM. Allah always will answer the pray and helping. may be Allah will help immediately or may be he not helping us to get what we want cause of something. there is 'Hikmah' for every thing.

I'm writing this to make my self being motivated because we will remember what we write and we read. also help to remind us bout something that we always forget all the time.
even it simple.

Jejah Johan




Today is the 14th day I'm being at Kampus Bandar Melaka for my Degree in International Business (BBAIB)....now I'm in BBIB3B class.


Different environment, culture, rules... everything is different form diploma. even it still at the same state (Melaka) but having life as Degree student that the new thing for me.i must open the now book / diary of my life starting form now. Start learning to be a matured and grown up girl.


Not any more a papa's princess and 'manja-manja'. I must wake up from the comfort zone. try to survived by own self start working hard in study. No more relax just like in diploma level... even i know that during diploma days I'm not the study type person... i must change that. I have 1001 plan in my mind, i must make the good strategy and do or organize all the plan base on my priority in life. in my personal life and family,study plan, financal plan, sosial life and spiritual eliment all that must have now plan starting from now becaus everything have being rotate and totally different form before. i must make more matured decision as the degree student


i realize now that no more close friends at hostel, I'm alone rite now...wake up in the morning having class as early at 8.30 then till 6.30. after that going home just like working people.Some of my friend stay at hostel. but I'm rent for a room at Taman Cempaka.nice house. complete with everything needed... class and study going fine

now i try to love my new life:)






I just read this just now when i open my email today since I'm too busy to online now days...
the created letter that for the 'mummy' from lovely 'baby'...even it sound not truebut i thing this is the real heart voice of the innocent baby's that being the victim of the 'parents' that not ready to accept them to this world. Because of the 'parents' old sin, they forgot about having sex before married is sin in Islam religion and because of fun in life they forgot bout Allah. this is what they say "the power of love" they make people being short thinking, even the intelligent person also might being stupid when it about love.


when the girl become pregnant, they will freak out and they don't want other people know bout all they have done and it will their parents know bout the "unwanted" grandchild so they make the short decision.... doing abortion.... that the easy way that they thing that can clean all the prove bout their sin.....






When i read this I'm so touching and feel sad and want to cry.(seriously)
This may be if the this innocent babys can talk and try to tell their parents... how they really love them even they not born yet. and how the pain that they face during the abortion. This will make the parents that have done this big sin...can realise what they have done.
they should not call as 'parents' or 'human' but then they are 'killer' that the best title for them.
To whom that have in mind or want to make this think it again!!!
Don't add more sin that you have done... Face it event it hard...(may be you say... "put your self in my shoes, what will you do? " you don't feel what i feel, it hard to face")
What ever you say i don't think that abortion is the best way...
It's a BIG sin... don't make It unless you dream of the title of "KILLER" so do it
and remember the ALLAH promise.... the KILLER will go to HELL
This is the letter try to read this guys.....

Love,
Jejah Johan

_______________________________________________________________


Dear Mummy,

I am in Heaven now, sitting on God' lap.
He loves me and cries with me; for my heart has been broken.
I so wanted to be your little girl. I don't quite understand what has happened.
I was so excited when I began realizing my existence.
I was in a dark, yet comfortable place. I saw I had fingers and toes.
I was pretty far along in my developing, yet not near ready to leave my surroundings.
I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping.
Even from my earliest days, I felt a special bonding between you and me.
Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried with you. Sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry.


I heard Daddy yelling back.
I was sad, and hoped you would be better soon.
I wondered why you cried so much. One day you cried almost all of the day.
I hurt for you. I couldn't imagine why you were so unhappy.
That same day, the most horrible thing happened.
A very mean monster came into that warm, comfortable place I was in.
I was so scared, I began screaming, but you never once tried to help me.
Maybe you never heard me.
The monster got closer and closer as I was screaming and screaming,
"Mommy, Mommy, help me please; Mommy, help me."
Complete terror is all I felt.
I screamed and screamed until I thought I couldn't anymore.
Then the monster started ripping my arms off.
It hurt so bad; the pain I can never explain.


It didn't stop. Oh, how I begged it to stop.
I screamed in horror as it ripped my leg off.
Though I was in such complete pain, I was dying.
I knew I would never see your face or hear you say how much you love me.
I wanted to make all your tears go away.
I had so many plans to make you happy.
Now I couldn't; all my dreams were shattered.
Though I was in utter pain and horror, I felt the pain of my heart breaking, above all.
I wanted more than anything to be your daughter.
No use now, for I was dying a painful death.
I could only imagine the terrible things that they had done to you.
I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone, but I didn't know the words you could understand.
And soon, I no longer had the breath to say them; I was dead.
I felt myself rising. I was being carried by a huge angel into a big beautiful place.
I was still crying, but the physical pain was gone.
The angel took me to Jesus and set me on His lap.
He said He loved me, and He was my Father. Then I was happy. I asked Him what the thing was that killed me. He answered, "Abortion.
I am sorry, my child; for I know how it feels."
I don't know what abortion is;
I guess that's the name of the monster.
I'm writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I wanted to be your little girl.
I tried very hard to live.
I wanted to live. I had the will, but I couldn't; the monster was too powerful.
It sucked my arms and legs off and finally got all of me. It was impossible to live.
I just wanted you to know I tried to stay with you.
I didn't want to die.

Also, Mommy, please watch out for that abortion monster.
Mommy, I love you and I would hate for you to go through the kind of pain I did.

Please be careful.


Love,
Your Baby Girl



Firstly i always wanted have my own blog, coz many of my friends have it...
they telling out their experiences and everything bout something happen in life and surrounding,
its sound good and fun reading others blog. now it my turn to share about all that happen in my life, my personal stuff, my inner voice and what ever my dream here...
even i know I'm not the 'writing' type people.. coz may friend said that im the 'talking' person...
that talk to much but then I'm also a good listener. Seriously( don't believed it? wanna try?)huhuhhuhu...
it just the beginning... i don't have any idea to make the 'muqadimah' for my own blog.
just in really tired... just come back from Setiawan Perak.... sending laptop to my friend (kak ida)
im going with Syawal. i though that the sun shine all the day.. but not....Syawal in in a good mood when we just arrived at Kapar.. i don't know...is that my false? am i? just don't know...
i want him to b happy but then...erm...my be i should give hime some time...just be patient(even 1000 of time i have did it...huh) what can i do....
just forget it. i thing i should start with the sad thing about personal life
everyone have rainy days... so....
lets start with this....



constant as the star above
always know that you are loved
and the love shining in you
that help to make your dream come true
always make your dream come true
that's fine to have 1000 of dream
and it not impossible to make it true
just believe in your self
hear, look and feel through your heart
you will see the dream will become reality