Exclusively By Izzah Johan

Alhamdulillah starting a new day again today.
hope that today will be better and better then the other days before.Insya Allah...
just being here to say that im now quite being addicted to write down all thing in mind here. even sometime i dont have time for it coz a bit problem to have Internet at this new palace. just hope for the wifi at KBM. but now my house have the connection so. that the good thing happen in life because seriously I'm feel lonely ait now... even have friends around bout i don't know why i feel so empty... i don't know why... i thing that i need to motivate my self back in order to face the other day... but one of my friend say, sometime it fine to be alone and do all thing by your own. without partner. you can do what ever you want. what ever you wish for without need to think about other or what they will say either they agree or disagree with us.

When i say about lonely may be people thought that I'm may b lonely because of love life and love relationship. it not what i mean actually. may be I'm missing my family, my house, my room. all the comfort zone that i should left being when i came here. sound so 'ngada-ngada'
hahahaha.... but its true. have many thing in my mind rite now. but i don't know which part to start. may be love life also one of the factor. I'm missing him but it fine to have long distance relationship. we still in Malaysia not overseas. i should be more focus on study. being passion and think positively. Problems come and go in human life. it normal to have problems. but we must know how to solved the problems correctly. because some people just take the shot way or try to run away from the problems. its not the end of life having problems. even its very critical. there must be a way to settle it down. I'm telling this for my self. for not give up. try to wake if you are down. don't easily give up. even there no one with you or there no help from others. Its fine coz i should believe to my self that i can do it. be strong and Allah (God) is always with us. HE also will never let us to be alone if we always remembering HIM. Allah always will answer the pray and helping. may be Allah will help immediately or may be he not helping us to get what we want cause of something. there is 'Hikmah' for every thing.

I'm writing this to make my self being motivated because we will remember what we write and we read. also help to remind us bout something that we always forget all the time.
even it simple.

Jejah Johan

Today is the 14th day I'm being at Kampus Bandar Melaka for my Degree in International Business (BBAIB)....now I'm in BBIB3B class.

Different environment, culture, rules... everything is different form diploma. even it still at the same state (Melaka) but having life as Degree student that the new thing for me.i must open the now book / diary of my life starting form now. Start learning to be a matured and grown up girl.

Not any more a papa's princess and 'manja-manja'. I must wake up from the comfort zone. try to survived by own self start working hard in study. No more relax just like in diploma level... even i know that during diploma days I'm not the study type person... i must change that. I have 1001 plan in my mind, i must make the good strategy and do or organize all the plan base on my priority in life. in my personal life and family,study plan, financal plan, sosial life and spiritual eliment all that must have now plan starting from now becaus everything have being rotate and totally different form before. i must make more matured decision as the degree student

i realize now that no more close friends at hostel, I'm alone rite now...wake up in the morning having class as early at 8.30 then till 6.30. after that going home just like working people.Some of my friend stay at hostel. but I'm rent for a room at Taman Cempaka.nice house. complete with everything needed... class and study going fine

now i try to love my new life:)

I just read this just now when i open my email today since I'm too busy to online now days...
the created letter that for the 'mummy' from lovely 'baby'...even it sound not truebut i thing this is the real heart voice of the innocent baby's that being the victim of the 'parents' that not ready to accept them to this world. Because of the 'parents' old sin, they forgot about having sex before married is sin in Islam religion and because of fun in life they forgot bout Allah. this is what they say "the power of love" they make people being short thinking, even the intelligent person also might being stupid when it about love.

when the girl become pregnant, they will freak out and they don't want other people know bout all they have done and it will their parents know bout the "unwanted" grandchild so they make the short decision.... doing abortion.... that the easy way that they thing that can clean all the prove bout their sin.....

When i read this I'm so touching and feel sad and want to cry.(seriously)
This may be if the this innocent babys can talk and try to tell their parents... how they really love them even they not born yet. and how the pain that they face during the abortion. This will make the parents that have done this big sin...can realise what they have done.
they should not call as 'parents' or 'human' but then they are 'killer' that the best title for them.
To whom that have in mind or want to make this think it again!!!
Don't add more sin that you have done... Face it event it hard...(may be you say... "put your self in my shoes, what will you do? " you don't feel what i feel, it hard to face")
What ever you say i don't think that abortion is the best way...
It's a BIG sin... don't make It unless you dream of the title of "KILLER" so do it
and remember the ALLAH promise.... the KILLER will go to HELL
This is the letter try to read this guys.....

Jejah Johan


Dear Mummy,

I am in Heaven now, sitting on God' lap.
He loves me and cries with me; for my heart has been broken.
I so wanted to be your little girl. I don't quite understand what has happened.
I was so excited when I began realizing my existence.
I was in a dark, yet comfortable place. I saw I had fingers and toes.
I was pretty far along in my developing, yet not near ready to leave my surroundings.
I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping.
Even from my earliest days, I felt a special bonding between you and me.
Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried with you. Sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry.

I heard Daddy yelling back.
I was sad, and hoped you would be better soon.
I wondered why you cried so much. One day you cried almost all of the day.
I hurt for you. I couldn't imagine why you were so unhappy.
That same day, the most horrible thing happened.
A very mean monster came into that warm, comfortable place I was in.
I was so scared, I began screaming, but you never once tried to help me.
Maybe you never heard me.
The monster got closer and closer as I was screaming and screaming,
"Mommy, Mommy, help me please; Mommy, help me."
Complete terror is all I felt.
I screamed and screamed until I thought I couldn't anymore.
Then the monster started ripping my arms off.
It hurt so bad; the pain I can never explain.

It didn't stop. Oh, how I begged it to stop.
I screamed in horror as it ripped my leg off.
Though I was in such complete pain, I was dying.
I knew I would never see your face or hear you say how much you love me.
I wanted to make all your tears go away.
I had so many plans to make you happy.
Now I couldn't; all my dreams were shattered.
Though I was in utter pain and horror, I felt the pain of my heart breaking, above all.
I wanted more than anything to be your daughter.
No use now, for I was dying a painful death.
I could only imagine the terrible things that they had done to you.
I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone, but I didn't know the words you could understand.
And soon, I no longer had the breath to say them; I was dead.
I felt myself rising. I was being carried by a huge angel into a big beautiful place.
I was still crying, but the physical pain was gone.
The angel took me to Jesus and set me on His lap.
He said He loved me, and He was my Father. Then I was happy. I asked Him what the thing was that killed me. He answered, "Abortion.
I am sorry, my child; for I know how it feels."
I don't know what abortion is;
I guess that's the name of the monster.
I'm writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I wanted to be your little girl.
I tried very hard to live.
I wanted to live. I had the will, but I couldn't; the monster was too powerful.
It sucked my arms and legs off and finally got all of me. It was impossible to live.
I just wanted you to know I tried to stay with you.
I didn't want to die.

Also, Mommy, please watch out for that abortion monster.
Mommy, I love you and I would hate for you to go through the kind of pain I did.

Please be careful.

Your Baby Girl